This is a Readers Theater Script<\/p>\n
NARRATOR:<\/p>\n
Six residents sit around a breakfast table at Beatitudes Community. Cynthia, the Life Enrichment Coordinator, stands at the head of the table with a clipboard.<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Good morning, everyone! I’m so glad you could all make it. We’re planning our monthly outing today, and I want everyone’s input!<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mmph grmph sounds good.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR: Bill mumbled. Robert speaks very fast.<\/p>\n
ROBERT: Oh I love outings I think we should go somewhere fun like maybe the botanical gardens or that new museum downtown or possibly the theater if there’s a matinee showing something good what do you all think?<\/p>\n
SANDY: The Botanical Garden, or museum, or theater sounds good to me.<\/p>\n
NARRATOR: Everything\u2019s OK with Sandy. She just wants to go on an outing.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: That sounds groovy, Robert! Real gear!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: She wants to go to the grocery store!<\/p>\n
ANN: To buy theater candy!<\/p>\n
NARRATOR: Ellie Anderla uses \u201cRetro Speak\u201d Ellie Parsons and Ann are just having a bit of a hard time following things.<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Wait, what? No, let’s slow down. Bill, what did you say?<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) I said mmph sounds good.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: He’s copacetic with the plan!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) What plan we haven’t made a plan yet that’s why we’re here to make a plan so we need to figure out where we want to go and when we want to go and how we’re getting there.<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: He says we’re going on Thursday!<\/p>\n
ANN: At three o’clock!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: No, no. We haven’t decided on a day yet. Let’s start simple. Where would everyone like to go?<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mmph mhrph the beach mrph.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: The beach! Now that’s the bee’s knees! We can have a real blast!<\/p>\n
SANDY: The beach? The beach sounds fun.<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) The beach oh I don’t know about the beach it’s pretty far and we’d need to leave early and what about sunscreen and chairs and umbrellas and lunch and the bathroom situation.<\/p>\n
ANN: She loves the beach!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: And she’s bringing umbrellas for everyone!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) No I didn’t say that I said we’d NEED umbrellas that’s different from bringing them.<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Okay, so Bill suggested the beach. Does anyone else have ideas?<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: How about we go to the sock hop? That’s where all the cool cats hang out!<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph sock hop? Whrmph?<\/p>\n
ANN: He wants to know what time the sock hop starts!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: And should he bring his dancing shoes!<\/p>\n
SANDY: I like to dance.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: It’s a gas, Bill! Real living!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Ellie, I don’t think there are sock hops anymore. Maybe you mean a dance venue?<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Twenty-three skidoo! A dance hall would be swell!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) Wait are we talking about dancing because I’m not sure everyone can dance I mean I can dance but some people might have trouble with their knees or hips or balance issues.<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph knees are fine mrmph.<\/p>\n
ANN: His niece is flying in!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: From Maine!<\/p>\n
SANDY: Maine? I like Maine. Is that an option?<\/p>\n
BILL: (louder mumble) No! Mrph KNEES! Mrph mrph fine!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Bill says his knees are fine. Anyone else?<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: My gams are solid, daddy-o!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) What did she just call you Cynthia because that seemed a little familiar I mean I know we’re all friendly here but daddy-o seems like maybe she’s confused about who you are.<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: It’s just an expression from the 1950s. She means she’s fine with dancing.<\/p>\n
ANN: So we’re going dancing at the beach!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: On Thursday at three!<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph never said Thursday mrph.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Thursday’s jake with me! I’ll wear my best threads!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) Okay wait wait wait let’s back up because I think we’re getting confused I don’t think we decided on the beach or dancing or Thursday we’re just throwing out ideas right Cynthia?<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Exactly! We’re just brainstorming. Let me write down what I’ve heard: beach, dancing… anything else?<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph mrph museum mrph mrph art.<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: He wants to go to the amusement park!<\/p>\n
ANN: To see the art cars!<\/p>\n
BILL: (frustrated mumble) NO! MU-SE-UM! MRPH!<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: The museum! That’s the cat’s pajamas! Very highbrow!<\/p>\n
SANDY: The museum is a good idea.<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) Oh the museum could be good there’s that new exhibit on impressionism or was it expressionism I can never remember the difference but they have a caf\u00e9 and a gift shop and comfortable benches.<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Great! So we have beach, dancing, and museum. Let’s vote. Who wants the beach?<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Sounds righteous!<\/p>\n
ANN: He said he’ll drive!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: In his convertible!<\/p>\n
BILL: (loud mumble) MRPH! NO! DON’T DRIVE! MRPH!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Bill, you’re not driving. We’ll take the community van. Who wants to go dancing?<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: I’m all in, cool cat! Let’s cut a rug!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) I think dancing might be too strenuous what if someone falls and breaks a hip that would be terrible we’d have to call an ambulance and the whole outing would be ruined.<\/p>\n
ANN: He\u2019s bringing his hip flask!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: For the ambulance drivers!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) WHAT no I don’t even have a hip flask I was talking about hip bones the bones in your hip the medical hip!<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph hips fine mrph museum mrph.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Bill’s hep to the museum! I dig it!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Okay, it sounds like the museum has the most support. Now, when should we go?<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) Well not Monday because that’s my doctor appointment and not Tuesday because I have my hair done and Wednesday is my bridge game.<\/p>\n
SANDY: I play bridge on Wednesday too.<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: So Monday works for him!<\/p>\n
ANN: Right after her bridge game!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) No that’s literally the opposite of what I said those are the days I CAN’T go!<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph Thursday mrph good.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Thursday! Solid! That’s a real gone day!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Thursday seems good. Morning or afternoon?<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph morning mrph avoid crowds.<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) Morning is good but not too early because I don’t like to rush breakfast and we need time to get ready and what if there’s traffic we should leave by nine-thirty.<\/p>\n
ANN: He says we’re having breakfast there!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: At seven-thirty! He\u2019s cooking.<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (very fast) No no no no no I said nine-thirty NOT seven-thirty and AT breakfast here not HAVING breakfast there!<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Don’t flip your wig, Robert! We’re picking up what you’re putting down!<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph nine-thirty mrph works mrph.<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Excellent! So Thursday morning, leaving at nine-thirty for the museum. What about lunch?<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Let’s get some joe and a danish! Maybe some hash!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) The museum caf\u00e9 is supposed to be nice I heard they have salads and sandwiches and soup probably not hash though that seems like more of a diner food.<\/p>\n
ANN: He\u2019s making hash for everyone!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: At his house after the museum!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (exasperated, fast) I am NOT making hash I don’t even LIKE hash I was saying the caf\u00e9 doesn’t SERVE hash!<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph caf\u00e9 mrph fine mrph.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Caf\u00e9 it is! Real sophisticated, like we’re in gay Paree!<\/p>\n
SANDY: Maybe we can have another outing and just go out to lunch.<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Perfect! Let me confirm: Thursday morning, leave at nine-thirty, visit the museum, have lunch at the museum caf\u00e9. Does that sound right?<\/p>\n
EVERYONE: (overlapping in their own styles)<\/p>\n
BILL: Mrph yes mrph.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: It’s copacetic!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) Yes that’s right exactly what we planned perfect good job everyone!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: He says it’s all wrong!<\/p>\n
ANN: And he\u2019s canceling!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) I SAID IT’S RIGHT! R-I-G-H-T! CORRECT! GOOD! ACCURATE!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: (laughing) Okay, I’m putting everyone down for Thursday. Now, any special requests?<\/p>\n
BILL: (mumbling) Mrph bathroom breaks mrph.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: Bathroom breaks! Solid idea, sport!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) Yes bathroom breaks are important especially with the drive and the museum is large and we’ll be drinking coffee so definitely bathroom breaks are necessary good thinking Bill.<\/p>\n
ANN: She says Bill is going to the bathroom!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: Right now!<\/p>\n
BILL: (standing, frustrated) MRPH! YES! NOW! MRPH MRPH!<\/p>\n
NARRATOR: Bill gets up and leaves.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: That cat’s got moxie!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: Alright, I think we have a plan! I’ll send out a reminder on Wednesday. Any questions?<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) No questions this is great thank you for organizing this Cynthia you’re wonderful at your job!<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: You’re the most, Cynthia! Real peachy keen!<\/p>\n
ANN: She wants to know if peachy keen is contagious!<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: And should we call a doctor!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) Nobody said anything about contagious or doctors why would peachy keen be contagious that doesn’t even make sense!<\/p>\n
CYNTHIA: (gathering her things) On that note, I’ll see you all Thursday at nine-thirty. Have a great day, everyone!<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: It’s a date, daddio!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (fast) See you Thursday this is going to be fun I’m excited about the museum and the caf\u00e9 and spending time with everyone!<\/p>\n
ANN: She’s bringing him museum! They\u2019re going on a date.<\/p>\n
ELLIE PARSONS: And everyone’s excited to see it! Isn\u2019t it cute?!<\/p>\n
ROBERT: (putting her head in her hands) I need more coffee.<\/p>\n
SANDY: I like coffee.<\/p>\n
ELLIE ANDERLA: That’s the straight dope, sister!<\/p>\n
NARRATOR: And so ends another Sunday Resident Luncheon here at Beatitudes Campus. Every Sunday at noon in the Plaza Club. Heaven help us!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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